My experience as a non-binary person, part II

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% Leah Rowe % 2019-08-26

I previously talked about my experience as a non-binary trans person in my previous article. I now wish to elaborate on what I wrote in that article.

I’m not thinking consciously about how I will lay out this article. I’m simply writing what I feel, and what I feel on a regular basis.

I am human, but I suspect strongly that we are programmed to procreate, to not question ourselves, and that our society that we live in puts us under an illusionary matrix separating male/female genders.

There are many countries around the world, most notably in Asia, that have the concept of a third gender.

I wish to talk about my experiences prior to coming out as trans. I feel like this is only going to be a short article.

Long story short…. before realizing I wasn’t cisgender, my life went more or less OK. I was (still am) a very fucked up person by societal standards. However, I did no harm and I acted in my own best interests. This is still the case.

And that’s exactly my point: ever since transitioning, my life has not substantially changed in any way.

I have tits these days. I had surgery (I’m 1 year post-op) to replace my genitalia. I’m currently doing voice training, just for fun…. make no mistake, I was always uncomfortable living as a man. Transitioning has done wonders to my mental health. I’m nowhere near as fucked up as I used to be. However, there was a point about a year ago where I halted my transition, just after my surgery. I’m currently quite androgynous on any given average day. I don’t quite pass as male. But I don’t actively try to look female either.

I have, in the past, gone full throttle and passed fully as female. However, I have stopped.

I am simply me. I just do what I want on a given day. I have never had any desire to procreate or to even have meaningful relationships…. I’m intelectually involved in a great many projects, and I like learning new things.

Basically?

I just feel like a sentient being, living my life. But all the concepts of male/female gender, they have never really applied to me.

I knew how I felt before publishing this article, and I still know how I feel while writing it, but I don’t quite know how to put it into words. So I’m giving up on the attempt to elaborate on my feelings, and just publishing this article as-is, without any editing.

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Workers of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains.
Workers of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains.
Workers of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains.
Workers of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains.
Workers of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains.
Workers of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains.
Workers of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains.
Workers of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains.
Workers of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains.
Workers of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains.
Workers of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains.